Editing Dialogue

Well, I am officially getting back on track with my book, and though I do not have as much time as would be preferred to work on my books and such, I have been able to check one thing of the editing list. I have fixed the format of some dialogue within my book! Now, this isn't the normal, "Hey, how are you?" "Good, how about you?" No, this is much more serious conversations between Elena and her friends. Some parts were italicized  others were not. Sometimes separated by a paragraph, sometimes not. So finally, I went through and made some necessary changes. Luckily it didn't take way too long, and I just hope I fixed all of these particular dialogues that require this format. If not, I'm sure one of editors will notice it for me. :)

And now, a little tidbit to show you what I did. Welcome... to Elena's Language Class. ;)


The bell rang and I followed Lisa through the middle doors, barely grazing the door frame with my shoulder. I kept my mind blank, moving with Lisa so as to avoid the other students, and I had to admit, I was moving better, and by the time I had reached my next destination, I didn’t have nearly as many bruises as I used to. Lisa noticed and smiled in my direction. Then she went as if to speak. “Neigh, Brrrr iii.”

I shook my head. Did I just hear her correctly? Did she just neigh? I widened my eyes in confusion and tilted my head. Her shoulders dropped and she placed a hand to her mouth as if trying to think of something. I went to speak, asking her what she was doing, but with a flourish her hand covered my mouth and she shook her head. I kept perfectly still and then her eyes met mine and I knew she wanted me to keep eye contact.  Our contact held and then ever so slightly I felt pressure in the back of my mind. Knowing it was her, I lowered my barriers and her voice broke through into my mind.

Elena? Can you hear me?

"Yes, I can hear you."

Really? Great! Then this will be the second ti- the connection faltered and I reached out ever so gently with my mind, trying to hold the connection.

“What did you say? I couldn’t catch the last word.” I continued to stare into Lisa’s eyes and I saw her eyes narrow in concentration as she tried to send her thoughts.

This is the second time I’ve talked to you through the mind. The first time wasn’t a fluke.

“Of course not. Something like that couldn’t be a fluke.”

That’s true. But that’s not why I tried contacting you. It’s because we are now in the language class Howrse and our teacher, Ms. Appy, does not allow any language but Howrse to be spoken, unless otherwise specified.

I raised my eyebrows in understanding. “I see. So she believes in that kind of technique.” I didn’t dare break eye contact but out of the corner of my vision I could tell she wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity. “Where is she? Is she anything like Mr. Spudge?”

Oh no no no. She is not often late, she probably just got stuck outside again.

“Outside?”

She’s a horse.
Before I could respond to that shocking comment, a loud neigh was heard as the brown head of horse could be seen pushing open the door. The connection broke and I stared at Ms. Appy, a horse, and my newest teacher.